Sunday, February 10, 2013

Dealing with the Aftershock

It has been 2 whole weeks since my feet were planted in the snow graced streets of Chisinau, Moldova. I was there with a team from Children's Hope Chest working with the Beginning of Life staff. My world has been sufficiently rocked and my bubble inadvertently popped.....and I couldn't be happier.

One thing that I was not warned about were the aftershocks of such a trip. In the case of such an event as an earthquake, there are usually marked moments called aftershocks. Scientists say that normally the bigger the quake, the bigger the aftershocks. Aftershocks can last for days following a life altering earth quake and can often bring about challenges and change in and of themselves. After such a life altering trip as this one, I have been experiencing aftershocks.

The funniest thing is that after spending time among people who have little to nothing....I want to move there and live that life as well. Here, we can get incredibly wrapped up on being wrapped up. People always talk about the "next big thing". We always discuss the next step to our career, the next step to our goals, the next big diet, TV show, blog, video, etc. It is overwhelming on the best of days. Our lives are packed full of "stuff". Once we get one thing, the newer, better version is already out. It seems as though we can hardly keep up in life, and therefore we are left feeling bogged down. It can be easy to just get tired....

Once my husband politely informed me that we could not move to Moldova just yet (something about the commute being too long...) I began to simply miss the people. I miss the laughs of the young ladies I met and I really do miss that Moldovan sense of humor (sarcasm knows no language barrier). I almost fell into a depression upon my return home. By the way, this can be extremely hard on the one left behind. I am very fortunate to have a husband that supports what I do AND maintains a very open dialogue when things are not working. Although I have all the love I could ever need here, I longed to return. Perhaps I just felt that I wasn't finished yet....

So, how does one handle these aftershocks? Well, I think preparation is key. I certainly do not want to press forward so fast that I get all caught up in life again and forget what I am supposed to be striving towards. I do, however, believe that I must prepare for these moments of bold faced depression. I have a tendency to allow depression to sink in so deep it hurts. Now, I look it in the eye and call it out. What good will I do the sweet people of Moldova if I lament not being there? None. What will I change if I can only think about what I miss? Nothing. How will I grow if I can only think about the past? I won't.

The best news is that I am not finished yet. I am going back to Chisinau, this time to stay on for a longer period. I will be bringing tools and education for BOL to utilize in their existing programs. I'll also be bringing a few new the word "y'all". Watch out Europe... LOL! I will also be traveling to Ethiopia this Summer for an even bigger adventure. best part about that trip is my son will be working alongside me. It makes my heart burst at the thought. He will be 14 and I can tell you now that through what he has learned already about cultures and trafficking he has a respect for women like I have NEVER seen.

So, if you choose to take a trip such as mine, be prepared for the aftershocks. Welcome them as they too are meant to bring change in your life. Prepare your heart with God's Word and stay on the course He has set. Obey and walk in pure, unadulterated faith....for He is true to His word. Always.

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