I have to come to light with a serious issue I am struggling with as we speak!
I, my friends, am a doer.
Do you know what that means?
I speak trust in God with my mouth, but all the while I am working out my plan to make things happen. This time, I have gone too far....
Now, don't get me wrong....putting in the work for your calling is of paramount importance. BUT when you start to wear your abilities down to nothing from trying to play the savior, you have a problem.
I have over committed myself as of this moment. I have such a sheer hatred for laziness (yes, I know THAT too is a problem!) that I would rather rebuild my sinking ship as opposed to simply focusing my attention on fixing one little hole! Issues...
When I went to sleep, exhausted, last night, I was dreading the day. You see friends, I have begun to overextend myself to the point where I no longer find joy in what I do. I curse the gifts and abilities my Lord has given me, instead of being grateful and thanking Him for the opportunity. I have run myself ragged and have left nothing for my calling. I am....spent.
Most of my days have grown into 16 hour workdays, plus the homeschooling of my sweet daughter. I push through claiming to be doing the work I am supposed to be doing, but lately things have changed. Before, I would always run to my husband. He is a patient and sweet man, always ready to let me complain to my hearts content about the messes I have gotten myself into :). This time, he's gone and phone calls are a mere luxury. I have turned to my Father today and I wanted to share with You the thoughts He has brought to the forefront of His weary child's mind:
- Am I getting distracted by the opportunities? Even "good" opportunities can take our eyes off of our real work.
- Am I so intent on being the "saviour" of a nation, that I forget to look to my Saviour in times of need?
- God will provide ALL that is needed for ALL he has called me to do.
- I must stop pushing my self-made boulders up the hill and rely in God and His timing.
- He is always the same.
- He is always trustworthy.
- He will provide.
- He only requires my to OBEY, not shoulder the load alone.
- Trust first....then follow in obedience on that trust.