Following the Winding Road

I am learning much about trust at this stage in life. I am being shown things daily that make me believe more and more in my Father's love and His heart to provide for me. Though the road before is not a straight path, and at time the visibility is less than desired, I am learning to trust in Him....the One Who created all and breathed purpose into my life.

When my journeys take me to unexpected places with unexpected meetings, I rest in the trust that His will is being done. For months I have uttered one common prayer daily amongst my prayers for those whom I love and care for....I have asked God to weed out the things in my life that are becoming of no use to His calling. I put in my faith in the fact that He would answer...and that he did.

This week I was blessed beyond measure to be able to teach at our church's high school girl's retreat. I wish I could introduce each of you to these wonderful young ladies. Truly, if I was fortunate enough to listen and heed to my convictions as these ladies of such a young age do...I would have avoided much heartache brought on by my own decisions.

During this week I was blessed with zero Internet.....like none. That can be a bit daunting to a blogger right? At any rate, I was able to embrace it, sans one post mid-week :). As I embraced my Internet-less existence, I was able to draw closer to my calling and see the changes that were coming. One word kept coming up in my mind and readings: SIMPLIFY. And that is precisely what I plan to do....

Upon leaving Camp Eagle (which is a wonderful place for retreats!) and hitting the major road, my phone began to blow UP! It was crazy. My dog had gotten out of the gate that morning, the Internet at the house was down (that's how we work our thermostat) and.....the position I have held teaching for six years was being done away with. Yeah, that last one came to me via my employee.

When approached with the fact that the steady income you have been obtaining for 6 years is no longer there....well, there can be a lot of emotions that arise. At first was angry at those involved and the lack of professional courtesy, then I found myself beginning to slip into worry. As soon as I slipped into it though, the Lord was gracious enough to pull me out. I now have a strengthened faith in knowing that it is not my calling to provide.....my calling to is to tell. I teach, write, speak and travel....these are what God has called me to do. And where there is a call, He alone will make a way :)

Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fail."
2 Peter 1:10

When I lose my way....

Trust can be a problematic thing for people like me. You see, I've always tried to be a "pull myself up by my boot straps" kind of gal. I can get so used to that kind of misguided thinking that I fail to see the hands that hold me each day....

This week I was blessed to teach at the high school girls retreat for my own church. We are staying at Camp Eagle in Rock Springs, TX. And yes, I finally got Internet after 2 whole days! My blogger mind was beginning to worry about that....

One of the biggest blessings is that my children have been able to accompany me on this trip. Yesterday, during our free time, we decided to take a little hike. Well, it seems to be our tradition that when they are with mom, we get lost! Seriously, we got lost twice on the way here Monday :) At any rate, we took off for our little adventure for 3 and ended up on a nearly 3 hour hike, most of which was uphill (to my daughter's dismay!). After an hour and fifty minutes, we reached the top of the mountain and what they refer to as "the alter". There was a stone alter there with three crosses, replicating the place where Jesus Christ died for each of us. There was also cell reception...

Now, I wish I could say that I spent time taking in that space and really drinking in the impact, but the truth is quite different. Upon taking a couple of pictures, my phone began to beep and buzz signifying that the outside world was in desperate need of my attention. I immediately began to shoot texts to my husband to let him know we were safe (and did, indeed, finally make it) and then I checked all the incoming texts and emails. The beauty that was before me in that significant place began to fade as I was overcome by distraction....

After a few moments a large youth group came up for a service project and we began to find our way down the mountain with no guide and no map. We fumbled along, took a few wrong turns, and I even had to carry my weary 11 year old at several points. We ran out of water and had no snacks. We were, in fact, ill-equipped for the task.

This morning, as I sat in my quiet time re-thinking the events of yesterday, I was shown a truth. You see, the way up to the mountain was steep and tiresome, but we knew where we were headed. There was a clear path (complete with arrows) and we kept telling each other the top would soon be revealed. Once we reached the glorious bounty of our efforts, with it's beautiful view and significant scenery, I allowed distraction to take over. Because of this, we had no clear plan as we descended the mountain and the trials became a bit more frustrating. My trust was gone and my faith had been placed on the back burner.

How many times do I do this in life? I dare say daily, in my case. I wake up with the best of intentions, spend quiet time with my Father, then life just gets in the way.... This has happened lately as I embark on the new adventures God has called me to. I must trust that He alone will touch hearts, for it is my job to simply obey and write as He says. I must trust that He alone will provide for these trips planned to Africa and Moldova, for it is my job to simply obey.

The glorious thing about losing my way is that I serve a faithful God. One Who never changes and is always there in my darkest hour and my most glorious light. He had the way planned from the beginning and He simply calls me to follow. We did get back to camp yesterday. About the time my daughter was giving out from weariness (she had not fueled properly for a 3 hour hike!) and my nerves were about to be set on edge, right when we thought we must still have at least another hour....my son says, "Oh look, there's the camp". Simple as that. God knew it was there as we struggled along the rocky paths. He never kept it hidden, nor did He blind our eyes from it. He does the same for me in all aspects of life. Right when I think there may not be hope, that the funds will not come, that the timing will not work out, He smiles at me softly and says "Oh look, THERE it is".

If you are feeling stuck on your way today, I encourage you to rest in His Word and know that He cares enough to show you, if only we will set aside our distractions long enough to see.

 

But seek first the His kingdom and His righteousness,

and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33



Finding Hope

If you do not hope,

you will not find what is beyond your hopes.

St. Clement of Alexandra

 

          What is hope? I suppose people can describe hope in a myriad of different ways. Hope carries a special tone for each ear in need. To some, hope is the assurance of a future. To others, hope is dream of change. Some people place their hope in things, money and fame. Others, place their hope in a higher power. To me, hope is a vision of change. It is a calling of a better future. Hope is the whisper of things that have not yet come to be, but that I have the choice to become. There are those in this life whose hope lies in the seemingly insignificant. The young mother who hopes her infant will sleep through one night so she can rest. The small family who hopes for enough money to eat.....at least once this week. The sexual abuse victim who has hopes of rest and simple, dreamless sleep. The father who hopes what he does is enough. The people of one country who hope beyond all hope that change will one day come.

 

 

          To hope for change is an arduous task, but it is the hope of those called to something higher. Hoping for change is reserved for those who are willing to look uncomfortable in the eye and not blink. This kind of hope requires a special heart and very special people. My friends at Beginning of Life (www.bol.md.) are just such people. The staff and volunteers at BOL work towards a hope every single day. They see some fruit of their labor in the face of a young girl who has found her smile once again, but the majority of their work is prevention. Prevention can often seem like a fool's hope. The fruit of prevention is sometimes not seen for many years, sometimes longer. While I was in Chisinau, I was privileged to work with the staff of BOL. The HOPE they have is strong....and it is changing things.

 



The only way of finding the limits of the possible

is by going beyond them into the impossible.

Arthur C. Clark

 

 

          As we spent time in a couple of Russian schools in Chisinau, I experienced the prevention that Beginning of Life works daily to accomplish. I was extremely privileged to work with Petre, a staff member of BOL and Peter, our translator. Yes, the names kept it easy :). BOL has a wonderful rapport with the school system and they go into the schools several times a month to speak to the highschoolers on subjects ranging from ESL to domestic violence... and everything in between.

 

 

 

          Petre was speaking on domestic violence that day, a very common occurrence on Moldovan households. He would ask the same question at every class: "Is it OK for a man to beat his wife if she provokes him?" The most common answer was in the realm of , "Well, it's excusable if she provokes him, but he really shouldn't because women are so weak." These kids were 16-19 years old. There were some young men who quickly stated that it was totally acceptable if the wife provoked the man. It is in these homes that it is a reality. Our last class of the day was a group of 15-16 year olds. Petre asked the same question, "Is it OK for a man to beat his wife if she provokes him?" This class met the question with a resounding "NO!" There were then answers about why that would be wrong and discussions about how men can show their love to their wives. This was a totally different mindset...and there wasn't even a generation gap.

 

 

          Prevention is working. Beginning of Life is making a change. People are hearing, some are listening and they are being helped daily. This is hope in it's fruition. This is finding hope within the miry circumstances. This is what living is all about....

 

          Wherever you find yourself today, what is your hope? Do you hope against hope for a better future? Do you hope to be involved in change? How can you change what is seemingly hopeless? Take the first step by finding out more about the prevention that is being done in Chisinau. This will spread throughout the rest of the world....but the world must first know about it. Can you help? Are you willing to spread the word about hope? Would you be willing to embrace the possibility of a little discomfort to afford someone else hope in hopeless place? Are you ready to find hope today? All it takes is a willing heart....

 

Do you want to be a part of change? Consider donating to the wellness and fitness center to bring hope and a future to victims of sex trafficking and human exploitation. Be the change you wish to see.

 





What Can ONE Do?

I have to admit some massive flaws today. OK, I have a lot, but I'll try to stick to a few...

I have a serious problem asking for help of any kind. Why? Well, there's plenty of reasons and I could probably list several psychological and social issues, but I'll try a more general approach:

1. I honestly don't think people will help. That's terrible right? It's like I just kill the dream right off the bat! My faith in God is what I work on daily, my faith in people has been smashed so many times I have simply allowed it to become altered. The thing I must remind myself is that there is not a single one of us that is perfect, yet God created each heart. So, my lack of faith in people can actually point to a lack of faith period. It's eye opening when you think of it that way.
2. I've always tried to be the "fixer". From a young age I just wanted everybody around me to be happy. Yeah, what happened to that right?!? Now, I find myself more confrontational.....growth :). Anyways, I would go above and beyond to "fix" things that I had not even caused. Then when my mom died, I decided to put my big girl panties on a grow up, way up. I figured I had to take care of everybody and everything and I ended up burnt out at a young age.
3. I don't like having to convince people to help. This is where it gets all wonky. There are times when I feel like I have to sell people on helping. A lot of times people want to know what's in it for them. Now, this is basic marketing. Since I've run my own businesses for several years, everything tends to fall back into the marketing mindset. The thing is...God doesn't do marketing.

So, there we have the 3 big ones that I allow to hold both myself and that part of God's will that He has m,e involved in back. Don't get me wrong, God doesn't NEED me to do anything for Him. He CHOSE me to help. There is a big difference...

Here I am now, acting upon the call to be obedient and asking for help. What I am working through is pretty big: I have partnered with Children's Hope Chest to raise the funds to build a fitness and wellness center in Chisinau, Moldova. This center will belong to Beginning of Life Ministries.

Here is the synopsis of what we are trying to accomplish together:

We are all willing to fight for something. We fight for freedom, for our right to believe and even for our favorite team. This year, Michelle has teamed up with Beginning of Life and Children's Hope Chest to build a wellness center for the community of Chisinau, Moldova. BOL runs a holistic program for the girls and women who have suffered sexual abuse or domestic violence. BOL staff provides psychological, social, spiritual and physical support for the girls, but they realize the physical development is the area in which they need more improvement. How will a center like this help to dramatically change a culture?

1.       Prevention: Within the first 2 years the center is open, hundreds of girls will be trained in self defense. This will, for the first time, enable them to defend themselves from the abusers.

2.       Rehabilitation: Sports and fitness provide a very positive impact on people's lives. Many of the girls suffer from heart problems, and the fitness center will offer a unique opportunity for recreation.

3.       Social Skills Development: This fitness center will serve as a safe place for the youth to spend time together, grow relationships and chat about future endeavors. It will be a place where they can dream and discuss making their dreams a reality.

4.       Reintegration: The wellness and fitness center will provide a brand new set of skills and jobs for the girls who have graduated the rehabilitation program. This will help to provide them with stability and a larger sense of self worth.

5.       Encouragement for staff: The staff of Beginning of Life works tirelessly to provide encouragement and safety to these girls along with education and awareness to an entire community. The fitness and wellness center will be a place for the staff to take care of themselves, just as we are instructed. It will provide stress relief, healthier and more energetic staff, team building and an opportunity to strengthen their shoulders for the load they choose to carry daily.

Just what will happen? Michelle plans to spend 3 months training the staff of BOL as well as the graduates of the rehabilitation center to teach and train in a variety of recreational activities. They will be able to offer yoga classes, hip hop dance, strength and conditioning, boxing for fitness and kickboxing. BOL staff will also be trained in self defense so they can implement this vital skill into their curriculum. This will open up not only jobs for graduates, but a new means of revenue for the expenses of running an organization such as Beginning of Life (5013C). Michelle Carlson is a nationally certified master trainer with over 15 licenses under her name. She holds specialties in corrective exercise, sports science and nutrition, MMA conditioning, yoga, movement therapies and self defense.

 

There we have it, the reason that help is needed. A lot of times we see a large need and think, "What can one person do?" In my opinion there are 2 types of people in the world: FIRESTARTERS and FIRE EXTINGUISHERS. It is my goal, and a pray yours as well, to be a firestarter for lasting change. It takes a small spark, a small gift, a small change on our part to create a lasting change in the world. So, how can you be an effective FIRESTARTER?

• Pray for the people of Chisinau and all those involved in this project.
• Spread the word! Share the site, share the story, encourage others to learn about what really is going on.
• Give a gift. Hopechest has an easy-access donation page set up for this project. You can choose your donation and it's 100% tax deductible! It's a win/win for all. You will have played a HUGE part in the transformation of an entire nation,
• Consider visiting :) I hope to have a team visit while I am staying in Chisinau. This team will be able to see what Beginning of Life does on a daily basis and be able to touch the lives of many. You'll immerse yourself in the culture and even get to enjoy some seriously awesome food. Get your hands dirty for change and I promise YOU will be the one reaping the most benefit.

Will you prayerfully consider your part today? The world is much bigger than the snug fitting bubble we fight so hard to keep ourselves in. Let it open up and prop yourself into the freedom outside. Enjoy the ride, life is about to get exciting :)

Prayers and peace,
Michelle

 

 
 

Encouragement for the Encourager

As I sit here on this brisk South East Texas morning (OK, it's 34 degrees people!) enjoying my coffee and toast, my mind drifts back to my breakfasts in Chisinau. That was some good coffee....

Following my drifting thoughts, I am reminded of the people I was fortunate enough to meet there. The staff and those associated with Beginning of Life Ministries are unlike most I meet in the states. They work tirelessly to bring change. They awake every morning, intent on doing their part. They don't complain about their work, nor do they glamorize it. They simply do the work.

This made me think of all of the encouragers that I have been blessed to know. People who take the time to speak an encouraging word into my life are few and far between, or at least it seems that way. Some of us are given the job of an encourager. Pastors, counselors, teachers, writers and bloggers often fall into the encouragement category. There are several of these in my life who work tirelessly to bring some sort of change. And I wonder, do we even notice?

You have undoubtedly heard the adage "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" right? Well, now you have. Those who are full of complaints and negativity tend to be squeaky. They creak and make awful noises as they lament about life. They complain of everything from money to family, government to jobs, retirement and boredom all the way to the church and missions. These people are the anti-encouragers in life and are meant to grow us. Apparently God thought I could use a lot of growth as nearly every corner of my life has a squeaky wheel :). These people are loud and opinionated and could care less if their words hurt or healed. Do you know any of these? Or are you one? If you cannot bring one to mind, chances are it's you....

Squeaky wheels tend to get the attention because they make the most noise. If they feel they have been wronged in any way, you will know about it. Encouragers are different. Though many encouragers are no more quiet throughout life, they are quite the opposite of the squeaky wheel. They find the positive in situations even though it can seem impossible to find. The speak words that build up, never tear down. They are the people who you look forward to hearing from, not the ones whose calls make you cringe. We all have at least one encourager in our life, chances are we are simply overlooking them.

God has blessed me with encouragement. He knows when the storms of life are raging that I could use a bit more, and He is faithful to send them. Encouragers don't think about themselves too often. They are far more involved in helping others to turn inward. They don't hold grudges or live in the past. They simply allow the love of God to flow freely through them. It may be the sweet lady at church who is always thrilled just to see you (thank you Ms. Nancy!), or the friend who prays for you right when you ask. Perhaps it is the attendant at the gas station who asks how your day is, or the complete stranger who compliments your hair. Encouragers are all around. We must learn to look past the squeaky wheels to see them.

When was the last time you took the time to encourage your encourager? When was the last time you said thanks? Perhaps today could be that day. No gift is required and it will probably take less than one minute. Encouragers need encouragement too....just as we all need it from time to time. We can all live out Ephesians 4 by learning to guard our tongue and speak encouraging words to others. Make that commitment today and carry on as an encourager of many.


Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful in building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

Facing the Pain

Pain isn't something glamorous to talk about. Most people spend their lives trying to avoid pain. I mean, it's human nature right? We don't want to deal, so we avoid. There are times when physical pain is unavoidable, times when it can become unbearable. It is in physical pain that we learn to listen to our bodies and seek out help. When we break a bone, we have a doctor set and cast it and we have people help with the mundane chores of life. This pain is bold, it is tangible and, in many cases, it is fixable.

But what about the unseen pain?

Stepping into others pain is quite different. In order for me to truly step into anothers' pain I would have to give up something I love very much. I would have to forgo a part of my life that keeps me comfortable. I have to change some things, alter my life, rework my schedule, redefine my priorities...

In order to step into anothers' pain, I must be willing to see past my own....

I have spent the past 30+ years staring at my own nose. I have kept my focus on me for as long as I can remember. It was always about "ME", the alpha dog in my world. When I was young, I focused on what course of studies would make "me" a better person. When I married, I wanted my husband to make "me" feel worthy, pretty, loved and special. When I had children, I wanted their actions to reflect positively upon "me". When I began training clients, I took every gain, every quit, every failed attempt as a direct attack against "me" and my skills. Even in searching for my calling and my ministry, the focus was all "me". I wanted a skill that would make others like "me", see "me" in a good light, and want to be with "me". This kind of life is exhausting.

Seeing the forest through the trees.

So, how did I get past my own nose? Well, at first I tried to fix it myself. I came up with a plan and worked fervently to implement it. I tried to make nice, give away things and skills, small talk, etc. Well, none of that worked because it was still ME. It was my plan, my path, my way of thinking. The more I struggled and the more I planned, the more removed I began to feel. I would jump at the chance to give things away (f I had a dollar for every auction item I ever gave out...) and offer free advice to people. I racked my brain for blog posts that would help and I poured my heart into helping those who asked...all the while knowing full-well that they would one day return the favor. Or so I thought....

My mind was always fixed on the one person who I thought could benefit the most: ME. Even in doing good, I was focused on my benefit. It took control being forcibly taken from me for my focus to change.

It took a major breakdown to cause a major breakthrough.....

You likely already know I flew to Moldova with a team of talented people to help the community there. If not, scroll back a bit :). Well, I had felt that I was called to teach self-defense to these girls. Upon landing in a new day and hitting the ground running, I was greeted with several uninvited circumstances. I could not for my life get the Wi-Fi to work (tragic, first-world problem of the year!) and therefore could not reach my husband. Self defense was nowhere on the agenda. Finally, our room smelled a bit like sewer...int the worst way.

Well, I did what I am best at in these situations: I pouted....like a toddler. I sat on the floor of the stinky bathroom, cursing the calling to this trip and begging God to just let Satan win this one. True story, though I am shamed to admit it. I wanted to go home. Home was comfortable...and smelled better. Can you imagine? I quit! Just up and quit, like it was nothing.

Luckily, prayer works even if I stop. Through the night God worked on my rigid heart. It was my turn to suck it up. I was there for a reason, even if it wasn't what I thought. So, I went about my business with my eyes glued to my nose. During the crochet session, something miraculous happened. Now, I cannot crotchet at all (see the proof below), but as I began to work on my "wash rag" I just kept going. It looked as though a 2 year old had made it, but I was OK. There were giggles and fun poking, but I was OK. This was so not my comfort zone, but I was OK.....

Where the beauty comes in.

It was in this moment, as I bonded with girls who did not speak the same language as me that my eyes began to drift past my own nose. Though my Wi-Fi was down, I could plainly see what was going on in the world. I saw pain beginning to heal by the kindness shared. We weren't building houses or planting gardens, we were watering souls instead of soil. There was a beauty here I cannot quite explain. It transcended all the things I thought were beautiful before. It was the beauty that God sees in His people. This is why He does not give up on us. He sees what He has made and He sees what can be done through us...if only we are willing.

So, the final question lies with you.

What have you given up on? Have you stopped helping others because you are too enthralled by your own nose? Do you find yourself stuck in your own circumstances? Do you bury your head in the misguided belief that somebody else will fix it? Do you rely on old excuses like being too busy? What has happened to your passion? And what are you willing to do to find it?

Can you let go of that which you find so comfortable? Are you willing to stand face to face with change? Or.....will you simply let the world keep spinning and pay the price at the final judgement?
How will you be remembered?

For me, I hope a date doesn't even need to be told. The time I spend here is of little consequence in eternity.....but the effort I put forth will yield great gains.

What are you building?
Michelle

By the way, my handywork is not for sale :)

The BIG Easy

 

 

"Why can't life just be easy?"

 

 

I have uttered this question many times and heard it escape the lips of even the most devout Bible study girl. Why is it that life seems so difficult at certain times? Why was life not built with an escape hatch of sorts? Why don't we have an easy button?

 

 

If I were to give you the Biblical answer, I would state this: You DO have an easy button....it's called the Bible. The problem I have with giving that answer is that I fall into the category of people who shamelessly worry first and seek God's Word second...or last. It's a terrible habit formed from years of practice. Instead of throwing on God's armor, I tend to run to my closet for my favorite shoes. If they are unavailable I tend to think I should buy more. You know, a girl can conquer anything with the right pair of shoes right?

 

 

 

If I am well aware that self sufficiency will get me nowhere, WHY OH WHY do I continue to rely on me? This takes me back to a time in my teens when I was distraught because I did not have a steady boyfriend. Don't snicker, this is a serious matter to a 17 year old! I mean, if nobody wanted to commit then, how on earth would I not end up and old maid?!?!? Ahem, composer.... Around this time we had also found out that my mom had cancer. I would ready my Bible daily and pray over her. One day as we were driving through town I lamented to my mom about my current lack of true love. My mom said something to me that rocked my world at the time: "Why is it that you find no trouble putting my life in God's hands, but you think He is ill-equipped to handle your love life?" That mom and her wisdom...it always bit my butt.

 

 

 

Why couldn't I give everything up to God? I mean, after all, He is in control. Any thoughts of control we may have over a situation are ill-conceived at best. I'm not even in control of waking up in the morning or digesting my food! I live on the faith that what I put in my mouth will go down the hatch undisturbed and nourish my body with everything it needs. So, why do I fool myself into thinking I have control over anything? The real EASY button is HIM. My faith, in Him = BOOM! Success!

 

 

 

The funny thing is that I have actually witnessed this time and time again when God had me in a situation where all I could do is give up my self-perceived control and throw Him the problem. I have realized over and over again that He is much better at life than I am. For that reason the smart thing to do is simply give Him the reigns daily. If I weren't so stubborn I probably would. Time after time, I jerk control of the reigns and He is patient to give me just enough slack. Does He want to see me fail? No. Does it bring Him joy when I fall on my face? Absolutely not. He is true and sure to scoop me up, wipe the mud off of me and set my feet back on solid ground time and time again.

 

 

 

Is it easy giving Him control? No. Sometimes His ways make no sense. I gave up my self-perceived control of my mothers health and she died. I gave up my self perceived control over money and we became broke. I gave up my self perceived control over my baby and she was taken before she took her first breath. Did I understand? No. Did I deal? Not like a mature adult. What I learned later was this: I prayed for healing over my mother.....She is now no longer in pain and she can hurt no more. If that isn't healing I don't know what is. I prayed for our finances to grow. In stripping us of our material wants God showed me that everything He has blessed us with is His. We learned to handle money in a Godly way. I prayed for another child and God allowed to the dream to come to fruition, then fall. He has replaced that dream with the dream of helping far more than one child and gifted me the talent and resources to help many.

 

 

 

I may not always understand His ways, for they are far beyond me. I do know that even when it doesn't seem easy, His ways are better and they bring about more joy and peace than I could ever conjure on my own.

 

 

 

Question of the day: What are you unwilling to give up control over? What steps can you take towards allowing God to lighten your load?